I'm Back! What'd I Miss?

Once again I find myself rushing to post at least one blog entry before the month is out.  However, this time I have a good excuse, which unlike all of my other good excuses, is completely true.  I have spent the last few weeks traveling Australia (that's the big country at the bottom of the globe and not the one with Beethoven and wiener schnitzel).  Since I know that there's nothing people enjoy more than hearing about someone else's vacation, I will spare no details.  I just wish there was some way to show you the 500 pictures I took.

My first stop was Sydney, which you might be surprised to learn is not the capital of Australia.  That honor goes to a small, unassuming city called Canberra, which is actually a far more fitting choice.  Sydney is the most cosmopolitan city in Australia, and anything that can be described as "cosmopolitan" is not an accurate representation of Australian culture.  It's actually pretty ironic considering Sydney's humble beginnings as a British penal colony (FYI that is the correct use of irony).  And they're hardly ashamed of it; I'd say half the museums in Australia are dedicated to their convict past.  There a little less forthcoming about how they all but wiped out the indigenous cultures, but hey, points for the whole convict thing.

My next stop was Cairns, which is actually pronounced "Cans", like the things you recycle when it's convenient.  Cairns isn't much of a town, more like a stopping point on your way to the Great Barrier Reef.  Ironically, though it is a launching point for boats going out on snorkeling, diving, or fishing expeditions, Cairns itself has no beach (another correct use of irony, you may want to take notes). As for the reef, the fact that it's one of the Seven Winders of the World should speak for itself.  Seriously, I could go on and on at how it's "amazing" and "spectacular" and "full of fish" but it's just no good without the pictures.  Your loss, I guess.

Next I flew to Perth, the capital of and largest city in Western Australia.  Not a whole lot to do except take the ferry to Rottnest Island and rent a bike, or "hire" in Aussie speak (you should always try to learn a little of the local language), then ride around looking at the scrub and lighthouses and not the hundreds of fascinating animals and insets that supposedly live there.  I guess they actively avoid tourists so they can read their newspaper and enjoy afternoon tea in peace without a bunch of idiots taking pictures.  That reminds me, I have an adorable photo of a retired Australian couple on their front porch drinking tea and reading the paper, right before they angrily told me to stop taking photos (which I also have photos of).

There's more to tell, but I believe this is a good stopping point.  I could probably finish talking about it in one post, but I'm going to make like Hollywood and pad the story with enough unnecessary details to warrant two posts.  I might even stretch it into a trilogy even though the final post will undoubtedly leave a lot of people disappointed and really pissed off.  Stay tuned!