The world is going to hell. Everywhere I go I am forced to deal with the rudest people imaginable. Take today, for example. As I was dropping my kids off at school this morning, I got a call from my good friend Angie. We were having a lovely chat when the people in the cars behind me started honking! How rude is that? Do I go around interrupting their phone calls?? Well, I was doing my best to ignore them when one of the teachers tapped on my window and told me I had to pull out of the drop off area! Can you believe the nerve? My taxes pay her salary! Did she seriously expect me to drive and talk on the phone at the same time? Does she not realize how dangerous that is? I thought teachers were supposed to be smart. Anyway, I took a couple of extra minutes to finish my conversation and hang up before driving away because I am just that considerate, unlike most of the people I meet.
Unfortunately, that little incident was only the beginning. After I left the school I went to the department store to return a sweater, and the salesgirl was not only unhelpful, but also incredibly dense. She refused to take the sweater back because it had a stain on it, even though I explained to her several times that the customer is always right and since people like me pay her salary, it was in her best interests to keep me happy. She then spouted some nonsense about wanting to see a receipt, at which point I knew it was time to demand to see a manager. I finally got my refund, but I fully intend to send an email to the corporate office and tell them that if they don’t want to lose any customers then they’d better stop hiring illegals who can’t understand simple English. It’s time we Americans took back this country.
My experience at the coffee shop wasn’t much better. All I wanted was a half decaf latte steamed at exactly 121 degrees with 1% soy milk and a hint of cinnamon. You’d think it couldn’t be any simpler than that, but they still managed to screw it up. The first one was 52% decaf, the second one wasn’t hot enough, and the third one had a dash of cinnamon instead of a hint. When they finally got it right, they tried to charge me $5.50! Outrageous! Well, I made sure to tell the barista exactly how I felt in great detail. You should always speak up when some greedy company tries to take advantage of you; it doesn’t matter whom you talk to, since everyone who works at the company is equally responsible for the policies.
At that point I’d had just about enough for one day, so I went home. I don’t care what those pot-smoking liberals tell you, SUVs are the best cars in the world. They’re like steel cocoons keeping you safe from all of maniacs on the road; I drove home in peace and comfort, sipping my latte and listening to my Adele CD at full blast to drown out the honking and screeching tires that always seem to occur when I’m on the road. They’ll give a license to anyone these days. I made it home in one piece, having survived yet another day of idiots and morons. Someday they’ll give out medals to people smart enough and tough enough to brave the crappy world we live in, but for now I’ll just have to settle for just being me.
No comments:
Post a Comment